LIST: Top Ten Candidates For My New Catchphrase

1) "And the beaver done kicked the bucket!"

2) "You still suckin' the gravy?"

3) "I swear I ain't pullin' your pork!"

4) "Kiss your cousin now, 'cause we're all gonna die!"

5) "The lacier the blouse, the roomier the house!"

6) "FLAMEWHIP!!!"

7) "This bar don't serve no unicorns!"

8) "Oh no-- I FORGOT TO CARRY THE FIVE!"

9) "Here's an idea: why don't I steal the vegetarian chili?"

10) "I have become death, destroyer of worlds."

LISTAROONI: Ten Failed 80's Sitcoms

1) Just the Ten of Us In This Poorly Ventilated Warehouse That Is Filling With Carbon Monoxide


2) Let's Kill Our Parents and Flee to Dayton, Ohio


3) The Three Orphaned Children I "Adopted" Are Kept In a Cage So They Won't Escape


4) The Phil Shitt Variety Disaster


5) A Lengthy and Unconvincing Argument In Favor of Reaganomics With No Jokes


6) Carroll O'Connor Plays Atari For a Half-Hour


7) The Guy Who Says "Time to Make the Donuts" In the Dunkin' Donuts Commercial Accidentally Swallows Some Laundry Detergent and Tries to Induce Vomiting


8) Old Ladies Watch Breakdancing While Saying Things Like "Gosh, I Just Don't Know"


9) Babies Wearing Headbands Falling Headfirst Into Vats of Chicken Gravy


10) An Entire Half Hour of That Shitty Dire Straits "Money For Nothing" Animation