2) "Hi, I'm here for the audition."
3) (Voice-over gracelessly establishes that this is a movie/TV parody)
4) "I'm so glad that Mike set us up on this date. I'm having a lot of fun!"
5) "OK, so you take the donut and dip it in the vaseline. Then you place it right in the mouth of the clown. Really cram it in there. Just ignore the sparks, they're pretty common for a clown this young. Then wrap the clown in masking tape, put it inside a large refrigerator box, and mail him to whatever aunt you hated the least. And then, after about three days, boom, no more chlamydia!"
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