1) Offer everyone a "sloppy heap of curry custard"
2) Refer to everyone in your dorm as "my handsome little sheepdog"
3) Ask your roommate every day if they'd like to start a ham radio society, then immediately begin sobbing
4) Sputter haplessly through largely inaccurate plot recaps of episodes of The Equalizer
5) Walk up behind your roommate in the kitchenette and yell "your lasagne is almost as spicy as my lovelife!", then give them an aggressive sidehug
6) Leave out open and half-empty jars of peanut butter on your windowsill to "send the goblins a message that we will never back down"
7) Get creative and public with your use of loofahs
8) Angrily demand that your roommate review your sleeping position and give you tips on how to attract bedbugs
9) Tearfully ask the person at the front desk at your residence "You'd never blow up the chapel on my wedding day, would you?"
10) Loudly announce on your orientation day "If I were a truck, I'd be the truck that killed Jayne Mansfield!"
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