LIST: Ten Books On My Bookshelf That I Will Never Read

NONFICTION

1) Whatever's Bothering You Is Only Bothering YOU, by Dr. Steven Piege (Not a Real Doctor)

2) Wild Mushrooms That You Could Probably Take a Chance On Eating, by Bub Maxwell

3) "The Unplugged Generation": An In-Depth Explanation of How I Lost The USB Cable For My Ipod, by Professor Piege Steven

4) Stroking Towards Home: Why I Spent Eight Years Swimming Inside The Stomach Of A Killer Whale And What This Could Mean For Your Love Life, by Brian Austin Green

5) An Oral History Of Irritable Bowel Syndrome by Dolph Lundgren and Edward Woodward


FICTION

6) Journey To The End of Chafing by Glut Bobson

7) A Series of Characters Invented For The Sole Purpose of Having Fictional Mouthpieces Through Which I Can Express My Opinions On Popular Culture by a whole bunch of people

8) Increasingly Rare Children's Book That Is Aimed Exclusively At Children by Piege Stevens

9) Incredibly Popular Genre Fiction That No One Will Admit To Having Read by P.G. Steve

10) Tweet Treats: My 101 Funniest Twitter Delights by Charles Manson