LIST: Ten Ways In Which The State Of Arizona Will Eventually Mark The Beginning Of A Pregnancy

1) Two weeks before conception

2) Right after the previous menstrual cycle BEFORE the one that leads to pregnancy

3) At the end of the Netflix viewing of Wild Things that led to the act of conception

4) Any time you think about sex

5) Any time you read or hear the word "sex"

6) Whenever a man and a woman meet

7) Whenever you fondle a grapefruit

8) The beginning of your nephew's baptism

9) Right now

10) You are pregnant right now