1) "Either that wallpaper dies of cerebral meningitis, or I do."
2) "Which one o' y'all stole mah pie pants?"
3) "Num num num num num AH LOVE CHOCOMUT BARS!"
4) "Let me just open this here closet AH A BOWLIN' BALL DONE FALL ON MUH HEAD!"
5) "A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies, which is why my only enemy is professional wrestling legend Rick Flair."
6) "A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it, but it is true if someone who is not a man dies for it. Is the pizza here yet?"
7) "All art is quite useless, unless it is covered in white chocolate and shaped like boobs."
8) "I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works. I also put my thumbtacks in this little container shaped like a frog. Wait, you're not leaving already, are you?"
9) "Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes, and Mr. Smelly is simply the name I give the raccoon under the stairs."
10) "I have nothing to declare except my genius. I realize, mister customs agent, that that's not what you meant by 'declare', but I guess I decided to be a dick about it for the sake of a clever aphorism. Wow, I really overexplained that. You're going to keep me here for a while out of spite now, aren't you? You know what, fair enough."
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