LISTICLE: Women of Note

1)   Famed sexpot Lips Driveshaft the Sexth

2)   Disgraced Finnish Olympic Women’s Hockey goalie and bronze medalist Karrrinen Melannen (stripped of her medal for taking performance-enhancing compliments)

3)   Financial analyst Pulitzer Sage, coiner of the popular phrase “If y’all ain’t sellin’, I ain’t tellin’!”

4)   Acclaimed insult-prop comedian Spank (sample joke: holds up dildo and shouts at audience member “This is what YOU are!”)

5)   Popular sex-folk balladeer Shoana McGarnigle, singer of such songs as “Planet Bang” and “The Earth Died Screaming OH OH OOOOOOOH”

6)   Mall-walker Evelyn Crutch, 92 years young, still as spry and effervescent and racist as ever

7)   15 year old Sunny Walker, recently entered into the Guinness Book of World Records as “Most”

8)   NASCAR enthusiast Rielle McIntosh, owner of the world’s only marble-fudge cannon

9)   Secretary Leanna Price, who has a thing or two to say about this Magnotta weirdo whether you want to hear it or not

10)  Dame Judi Ditch, whose performance art asks the question “What if all of Judi Dench’s movies took place in a ditch?" without really answering it